For example, this colloquium was included in our daily list of campus events:
(Physics Colloquium) Exotic Quantum Phenomena and Topological Phases in Spin-Orbit-Coupled SystemsWhen: Tuesday, September 28, 2010 4:00 PM - 5:00 PM
Where: Physics : 1410
Event Type(s): Colloquium
The recent discovery of topological phases of matter in solid-state systems has captured the imagination of physicists around the world with tantalizing properties such as protected boundary modes, exotic electromagnetic response, and possible non-Abelian excitations, which have potential applications ranging from semiconductor spintronics to topological quantum computing and quantum sensing.
Despite the exotic nature of these states, they may occur in a variety of conventional material systems, where the internal spin degree of freedom of the electron is coupled to its motion. In this talk, Victor Galitski, UMD, will review recent theoretical progress in understanding exotic phases and phenomena that arise in such spin-orbit-coupled systems. Basic concepts of topological insulating states will be emphasized. *** Full Abstract at: http://www.umdphysics.umd.edu/events/physicscolloquia/462-exotic-quantum-phenomena-and-topological-phases-in-spin-orbit-coupled-systems.html
So, aside from the fact that I don't even know what a colloquium is (or how to spell it before this exact moment - watch out WordFeud opponents!), what the hell is this colloquium even about?
I got curious and Googled "exotic quantum phenomena." According to the National Science Foundation, this has something to do with wedding cakes.
Okay, so I Googled "exotic wedding cakes" and, just for fun, used the "I'm Feeling Lucky" button. I wasn't actually feeling lucky, but I figured what the hell, it couldn't hurt, right? Wrong - it most certainly could hurt. I'm not saying I'm a wedding cake aficionado (whats up WordFeud?), but damn, these cakes look like someone walked into Michael's with a blender and a family-size bottle of Ex-Lax.
Here's the very first cake they show on there.
Seriously?
The damn pleats aren't even straight! Really? A three-tier pleated chocolate cake with some frumpy looking flowers and extra-long butt-hairs sticking out of the top is your idea of an exotic cake?
Ok, maybe I'm not being fair. Maybe there are better cakes further down the page. So I'll use my little scroll-wheel thingy, and viola!
Wait a minute.
Your cake is in an effing basket.
And it's not even a cake. What the hell is that? You can't just take a bunch of Cherry Jubilee Andes mints, put them in a basket, and call it a cake.
Also, did I mention that this cake is in an effing BASKET?
Ahh, but I digress. Looks like I had too many non-Abelian excitations for breakfast.
We need to get back to the crux of the matter, which of course is the dangerous presence of topological phases in spin-orbit-coupled systems. After all, despite the exotic nature of these states, they occur in a variety of conventional material systems. That's right, we could see this stuff even in any of those material systems that you have laying around your house. I don't have anything to worry about, though, because I live a conventional-material-system-free lifestyle. Just say no, kids.
Well, I guess it's back to Google. At the risk of making my computer explode, let's see if we can find out exactly what a spin-orbit-coupled system looks like. Google Images to the rescue!
Hmm, so dum-dee-doo...there's a bunch of stuff I can't really understand, some cool looking 3-D graphics, a picture of Saturn, and then...
...this guy.
Who is this man of mystery? And why is he the poster child of spin-orbit-coupled systems? WHY?? I MUST KNOW NOW!
As it turns out, Masayuki Yamamoto is affiliated with the Institute for Theoretical Physics at the University of Hamburg. His focus is on electron transport blah blah Rashba coupling and wave packets of something else.
Wait a minute. A Japanese guy? In GERMANY? Doing things that I DON'T UNDERSTAND? AAAAAAUUUGH! ACTIVATE ALL CAPS AND XENOPHOBIC TENDENCIES!! IT'S ZEE GERMANS!
But wait, I guess not all Germans are bad. Oh wait, that was about World War II? Yeah, okay, I guess the Germans were pretty bad back then. Maybe he should appeal to his Japanese roots. Or, maybe not.
I know, I know, that was like 65 years ago, and we're all happy one world now. I should probably focus more on reading the entire event description before I go jumping to conclusions and Googling my way into a corner that I can't figure out how to write out of so I can end this post already.
After all, by not reading the entire colloquium description, I missed that it would be emphasizing basic concepts of topological insulating states.
So instead, I guess I'll just leave you with this, courtesy of my friend Lindsey, whose dog can be seen below getting assaulted by Squishy (in her younger, more form-fitting years).
Enjoy, y'all!
