So, I know I haven't posted in, like, decades. Which means you have either a) forgotten that my blog was still in your RSS reader or b) not forgotten and have been curled up in a corner wearing the same pair of underwear for the past three years waiting for me to impart some wisdom on you again.
If you're in the latter, I hate to disappoint you yet again, but this one isn't going to do anything for your mental state. For everyone else, please put your seat backs up and stow away your tray tables, because you're in for one hell of a ride.
First, I realize that out of the context of the rest of this epic film, which my wife and I made the point of watching in its entirety today, this scene makes no sense at all. But within the context of the rest of the movie, I can assure you that it still makes absolutely no sense.
But really, if you could have seen some of the other special effects they pulled off in this movie, your mind would already be so blown that you'd have no problem just accepting that a shark could catch a 747 flying at full speed at cloud level. If it helps, keep in mind that the flight attendant was telling people to get ready for landing, so they were probably flying slower than full speed, anyway.
It really is a damn shame that this movie didn't win some sort of award. I mean, it would have been my personal vote for Best Picture and Best Visual Effects, as well as Best Supporting Actor for Mr. I'm-Getting-Married-In-Two-Days for that completely genuine look of shock. His delivery was just impeccable.
Hell, if nothing else, they should have given this thing props for the title alone. Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus. That's the actual title. Seriously, go look it up. And if you really want to get into it, it appears that there's a "Making of" show as well as a sequel, appropriately titled Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus.
I'll wrap it up before I get too excited and accidentally drop in any spoilers. Instead, I'll just say that you have got to figure out a way to watch these examples of classic cinematographic genius. After all, they just came out with one more in the amazing "Descriptive-Name-of-Giant-Monster-Thing vs. Descriptive-Name-of-Giant-Other-Monster" series, and this time there's a crisis in the Florida Everglades.
Enjoy!
