Let's get FOXY!!!!!!!!!!

At the risk of this blog becoming a wasteland of stupid emails that I get, I couldn't resist sharing another message we just got from the semi-literate folks at our old gym/pit sweat depository/sketchy place sending 587346.99% APR credit card offers out of its back office (no offense to legitimate hawkers of 587346.99% APR credit cards).

Further ado is probably appropriate here, but it's the end of the day and I'm only running at about 80%, so here goes:

Let's get FOXY!!!!!!!!!!

OK- so school is almost back in session, the days of summer are slowly coming to an end and your daily routine is slowly creeping back in!! Wow - time does fly!!

So let's mix it up a little and get FOXY!!!
Yes! Foxy!! Foxy Fitness will add a some excitement to your life!
Come to our seminar on September 16th at 7:00pm and find out how we define "foxy"!!
We will discuss things like false dieting, metabolism, strength training and will reveal some serious Myth Busters!!

Thermic Effect of Food (TEF)!!!! Do what now????

Yup - all that and much more!!

You want more free stuff? Ok, ok: Participate in the seminar and give us the contact information for three of your friends, that you think could use a little "foxy" in their lives and receive a free [GYM NAME] T-Shirt.

Give us a call or stop by the front desk to sign up for Seminar!

Cheers,
 The [GYM NAME] Team

Le sigh.

It's weird. I feel like they swooped in and replaced regular exclamation points with rogue, anti-exclamation points that look exactly like regular exclamation points but just make me want to vomit into my lap, and then I get depressed that these exclamation points are making me reject the lunch I just paid $6.17 for (and I didn't even get chips!).

Maybe the "Thermic Effect" of my food actually caused the vomiting. (TEF)!!!! Man, I actually need to go to this seminar. Lord knows what the long term effects of (TEF)!!!! could be! And hey, I could definitely use a little "foxy" in my life.

If you're still not convinced, here's the kicker. You can't afford to not go to the seminar, because it's not just any ordinary Foxy Fitness seminar. (Do what now????) Oh no, it's a Seminar.


That's right folks, a Seminar with a capital S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! See y'all on the 16th!


Cheers,
the words about stuf team (TEF)!!!!